Lots of things are in the works. Samanda’s magic beans, a roaming coffee roasting business, will soon start roasting beans.
Lots of traveling. Can’t stay in one place too long. The road has brought me back to Louisiana but only for a few more weeks. Pa for Christmas and New Year’s eve then down to Florida for a few months.
I returned to Louisiana today after nearly nine months of being on the road.
But Louisiana is no longer my home. My home is where my heart is and my heart is in CT right now.
It’s strange seeing all of the familiar faces and all of the familiar things, seeing the stagnancy and the progression at the same time.
It’s also given a bit of perspective of my own progression and stagnancy.
I’ve still got a lot to do while I’m here but I’m already looking forward to returning to CT next week.
Time changes things in a way that I could have never imagined.
I’ve reached a terrible crossroad, in my mind. I’m $18,000 in debt from my half completed education and I feel as though there’s no escape.
I consider my options:
-continue on this road and see where it may lead, roasting coffee beans and whatever else
-go home and finish school, may as well complete it since I’m already going to have to pay for it
-start paying my loans and become a slave to the system
-run away, change my identity and never return to the US
I don’t know. I feel as though my great big move towards freedom has suddenly slapped me in the face with this actively acruing, overwhelming financial burden.
When I boil it down to a matter of numbers, it does not make any sense for me to continue on this journey and NOT move forward in something that will be more profitable.
And then there’s the whole matter of what I want. I wish I could vagabond around the world but I can’t survive on the bare minimum. I’ve got this black cloud hanging over me and I feel as though it will never go away no matter which path I choose.
There’s gotta be a way for a somewhat educated, somewhat resourceful person like myself to chop through the forest and create my own path that fulfills all of my needs.
Figuring it out is the journey.
Oh, woe is me, the chaser of dreams…
I’m so burnt out. We’ve worked about eleven weekends of music festivals. Maybe nine, I’m not entirely sure.
And we’ve got one more this coming weekend.
But after this last music festival, I’ve got a week off, Tom joins me and we start the renaissance faire season with the Connecticut show. Then I’ll go home for my cousins wedding in mid October, go back to Ct, then go back to Louisiana for November and December for the ren faire. And Thanksgiving with the family.
Just as soon as I’ll feel stir-crazy from being at home, we’ll hit the road and head down to Miami.
It works out pretty brilliantly.
I’m very excited about the road ahead, if I can only survive this next festival. I’m so close…